Lonely v/s Alone

It’s such a powerful and important distinction.

Having an awareness of this distinction is essential, I feel.

I experienced the power and impact of this distinction recently.

I was walking on the streets of Bandra one afternoon. I was on my way to grab a snack. I didn’t have company. I kind of wanted to be by myself, to have that time for myself.

I didn’t feel the need to listen to music while walking. Else, I’d generally prefer plugging in my airpods and listening to songs; partly to not let my presence on the road to appear “lonely” to the people around.

Have you ever done this? Put on music when you’re out alone, by yourself, just to appear that you are engaged in an activity? To not come out as a “loner”, as the word goes these days?

I have done that a couple of times in the past.

The fear of being judged- by strangers around me, the people I haven’t even come across in my life, and will probably never see them again- was bigger than my need to not listen to music and just simply walk around, unbothered.

That afternoon in Bandra, walking on those streets without music, I experienced freedom. Looking at churches, shops and traffic lights, I felt free and at ease. There was nothing extraordinary about these sights, but the plain act of me walking by myself, without any music changed everything.

It was so (fucking) simple.

It felt so (fucking) good to not think about other people’s opinions about my “lonely” ass walking around alone.

And speaking of, I did not feel lonely. I felt complete. And that felt right.

You see, spending time on ruminating about “what will people think of me if I do this?” will get you nowhere, and I am affirming this by experience.

There’s something cathartic about breaking the misconceptions that you have formed of yourself, and intentionally working towards perceiving yourself differently. Everything changes after that, trust me. And that’s one hell of an experience!