love

16 questions i want to ask a stranger i will never meet again

Mayuri Makwana


1. who is your god? is it male or female? is it just a universe? a power? or hope?
2. have you ever been in love? did it punish you enough? and did it teach you anything?
3. i don’t know if you have ever kissed someone’s eyes, held hands while walking down a street, softly brushed the hair off someone’s face when they were talking- how often do you crave intimacy? and who satisfies your need for touch?
4. do you love your father?
5. do you like it when people talk about you?
6. what color is your toothbrush?
7. have you ever done something bad and actually felt bad about it?
8. would you kill someone if you have to? would you kill yourself if you have to?
9. when you get hurt by someone, where do you ache? your ears? your toes? or is it in your throat?
10. when you die what do you want people to do with your clothes?
11. does anyone ask you if you cry?
11. do you think that the world was just to you?
12. do you like holding soft toys? have you ever held a soft toy?
13. do you like the way lemons taste?
14. when was the last time you felt like crying but you didn’t? who are you trying to be brave for?
15. where do you fight your battles? in your bed or in your bathroom?
16. if you could buy love, how many rupees per kilo would you pay for it?

on movies, empathy and love

Mayuri Makwana

“what do you live for?”
“good music, i think.”
“ahhh, so you are that kind?”
“hey, music is important! sometimes, i just close my eyes and i am in another world.”
“i think i live for movies. for a story, knowing someone, feeling what they feel and what they dream of, what they fear. i feel like i can connect to them.”
“you mean relate to them?”
“no, i connect to them. like, i feel i can trust them. it doesn’t matter if they are a good person or a bad person.”
“yeah, yeah i know your theory that no one is ever a bad person.”
“yeah so i can trust them because i know there is nothing more to them that i cannot see. i wish people were like that. i wish they could be honest and not hide things, their fears, their happiness, their love and lust, everything.”
“isn’t that too much to expect? i mean i am sure even you aren’t like that, you know, so open and honest about everything.”
“i used to be. weren’t we all like that? maybe when we were children.”
“maybe. i think as we grow up we forget to do things for ourselves. we think too much about others. even feeling empathy can be negative. do you think our empathy can harm us sometimes? like, imagine you want to do something but you cannot because you know exactly how bad the other person will feel. somehow you compromise on yourself, not intentionally but out of love. love in the simplest form, this love does not need depth, it’s just a sort of care.”
“i don’t want to think of love as compromising. love should free you and you can care even without compromising.”
“have you even been in love?”
“of course! i have and i have learnt. you should learn too. i would never want someone to expect me to compromise on myself for them. what kind of love is that?”
“oh god. it’s not something they expect, silly. it’s just how things are in love.”
“wait, stop. that’s your definition of love, everyone has a different definition.”
“i never said they don’t.”
“but.. but…!! you are doing this to me again.”
“what?”
“why do you always have to challenge my views?”
“wait i thought its a healthy conversation.”
“it was.”
“this is why i never talk about all this to you.”
“oh, fuck off.”